scifirenegade | Network

So Marvel Trumps Hate, a fannish charity auction that I have occasionally participated in, has people offering fic and art and various other fannish crafts and services for charity. There are usually a few people offering fanbinds of Marvel fanfiction, and in 2024, a bunch of people got together and organized a group bid for

zerosconsort to bind two of my stories.

So I talked with Zero about it -- mostly in the spring and summer of 2025 -- and we settled on doing two anthologies of my shorter Steve/Tony fic, split by POV. So there would be one Steve book and one Tony book. I know we talked about what stories should go in there and how to balance the word count, but this was also the period of time where I was getting 20-25 migraines a month for about five months straight, so I don't actually... remember... a lot of last year especially well, my capacity for coherent reasoning was at about 0%, and I figured whatever Zero wanted to do was probably going to be good and I would just be pleasantly surprised when Books Got Here.

(I am really sorry. It was a lot of migraines.)

Zero did also mention that she was additionally working on a fanbind of my Trek AU and would send me that too, and I thought that was really sweet of her. She commissioned additional art, also, which is definitely above and beyond. It's really nice art.

So I was expecting three books in the mail yesterday and opened the box and got FIVE BOOKS and my first thought, honestly, was, "Oh, my God, I have had so many migraines, and I don't remember talking about five books. Is this something we actually talked about that I was supposed to know about or is this supposed to be a surprise that I don't know about?" But it was in fact not a thing I was already supposed to know! It was a surprise! So that's good! I didn't entirely break my brain! Whew.

Yeah. It has been A Time.

(The two additional books, that I did not know about, are Thrust Issues and my Ults soulmate AU. The Ults soulmate AU has every occurrence of the word "soulmate" in red. Hooray for rubrication.)

Anyway, if you want to see them, I personally am terrible at taking pictures so nobody wants me to take any, I promise you, but Zero made a very nice masterpost on Tumblr with more detail about all of the books.

The Star Trek AU is black with SILVER SPARKLES. Like spaaaaace. Eeee.

Current Mood: pleased

siderea

(h/t

conuly)

This longform article is framed as being a "ha ha isn't it wacky NASA hired a lingerie company for the Apollo missions". Ignore that. It turns out to be about an organizational culture clash around documentation and specification requirements that will speak to all the therapists and software developers in the room. Also of interest to fans of the US space program, the history of women in NASA and in tech, and clothing construction.

2023 April 14: Nautilus: "The Bra-and-Girdle Maker That Fashioned the Impossible for NASA" by Nicholas de Monchaux, Head of Architecture, MIT. Adapted from his book, Spacesuit. Recommended.

petra

Covid: Speaking Out About Rubynye by

werpiper.

Current Mood: grieving
Current Music: Hey, everybody, got a favor to ask: shut the fuck up and put on your mask!

alterkrmn

The last two weeks I've been very busy with work, closing the monthly assignment for March-April and starting the one for April-May, which this time includes the extra subject I'm building as an author and not as a reviewer (that’s three courses). Last Wednesday I didn't sleep much to finish my deliverable, and on Thursday I had to go to the office, which is always, always a big effort, even though I'm a great actor and in my most cynical moments I call myself the king of masking. So doing it sleep-deprived was even harder.

Then the weekend got even more intense, because I kept working intensively on my deliverable for this week, since I already had commitments and wouldn’t be able to work non-stop on Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday, I had therapy (which was very intense), final Mandarin exam, lunch with the Mandarin group to celebrate the end of the course, and then eating cake with my brother because his birthday was on Friday. Then, on Sunday, I watched two episodes of BL dramas that ended: Duang with You and My Romance Scammer.

But it doesn't end there. In December I bought a ticket for Jackson Wang's concert in the capital, as part of his world tour Magic Man 2, because ever since I listened to that album (almost the same way Khemjira helped me get out of the depressive hole I was in) I connected with its songs on an extremely personal level, and that helped me in prioritizing myself after years of trying to live to other people’s expectations. The concert was yesterday, Monday, April 20, and I asked for two days of PTO to be able to go and to recover today. But traveling always requires a very high amount of energy from me.

And even though the whole weekend was full of activities, and last weekI was still doubting whether to go to the concert, in the end the phrase "you only live once" (maybe because it's mentioned in the song "GBAD") kept resonating in my head. Maybe my nervousness was because at some point I started feeling a strange anxiety (which in the end I think was motivated by the fact that the concert was on a Monday, and that meant disconnecting from work*) and my head got paranoid, even making me believe that maybe it was one of those moments when your intuition "warns" you about something**, but in the end I said: if something happens, why would I run away? Haven't I wished a thousand times that "something would happen"? And that's how I decided to go, and nothing happened, so I really think it was my anxiety about being absent on a Monday, because deep down, even though I'm reforming myself after burnout, I'm still a workaholic, for some reason (fear of losing my job, I think). The important thing is that I loved every second of the concert, and there was even a moment when I couldn't hold back my tears, when Jackson talked about the creative process behind that album, because his explanation ended up resonating with what I had already felt when I listened to it before. But besides that, it was a great show, and the energy was amazing, Jackson is a great performer. And afterwards, when I was finally home and in bed, my brain was still so hyped that I couldn’t sleep.

"GBAD" has become part of my personal anthem list, because, even though I always think about death, I believe that despite how heavy the beginning of last year was, and the dark moments I came out of in the second half, there's a stubborn part of me that clings to enjoying the stay while I'm here. Somewhere I posted this: "Tricking myself into living longer", in a moment of delirium from lack of sleep and the honesty that only comes out when you're most vulnerable, but motivated by the hundreds of things I want to see and do (like GAHT, or traveling abroad, for example). And some of those things, everything I do to "trick myself" into living a little longer, are great, and fun, and I enjoy them.

Maybe I'm contradictory, but I've never said I'm not.

Anyway, as Jackson Wang would say: "Life is great (just gotta be a dick sometimes)."

*And I did disconnect, even though they sent me messages on Teams and even assigned me a ticket to solve, even when my status was clearly marked as away and I had set up automatic replies. So my anxiety was a little justified, because I know those fuckers. But PTO is PTO, and I wasn't going to ruin my day over things that aren't even urgent and that no one's going to die from.

** Something, like a car accident or any other disaster that could end in death… Even though I don't believe in supernatural things, there have been several times in my life when, by feeling something weird and making decisions based on that nervous feeling, I've saved myself from accidents or even being there alone during a home burglary. I have no explanation for that.

Current Music: Made me a man - Jackson Wang

shadowkat

Television Re-Watches

I attempted to re-watch Veronica Mars and Firefly - but neither held my interest, and Veronica Mars - sigh, it neither dates well nor holds up. I remember liking this better when I first watched it? Maybe I wanted to like it? The writing and direction just aren't that good. And Bell doesn't quite sell the high school student vibe? The performances are more forced and less natural than the ones on Buffy - there's a scene with Veronica crying in about the seventh or eighth episode, and I don't buy it. Buffy cried - and I bought it. Also, Veronica isn't as likable nor is Keith, none of the characters are - and I think it's a dual problem, writing and direction. I can see why Rob Thomas's work didn't take off and Veronica Mars didn't last more than three seasons, and the revival didn't take off. I may try Firefly, again, not certain, don't really remember it all. I only have a vague memory of most of the episodes.

April Question a Day Memage:

20. Did you sleep well last night?

Not really. I need to go to bed earlier. I've been getting to bed around 10:30, and as a result only sleep a little over 5 hours. Also getting up at 5:50 am. I slept longer, when I went to bed by 10 am, and slept until 6 am.

21. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?

New York City. I really don't want to live anywhere else? It has ease of transportation, my favorite mode of transportation, is near water, has lots of trees, and a temperate climate. Plus lots of cultural pursuits, and is very diverse in population.

I'm a New Yorker, I think. It's going to be very hard to prod me out. NYC has kind of ruined me for anywhere else. You either take to this city and love it for life, or you can't wait to get out of it - and don't stay long. It's often one or the other. Also apparently, you either love Boston or NYC, not both.

Maybe London would work? I remember loving London in the 1980s. I suck at languages, so it would have to be a place that spoke English as the official language. Also, I don't/can't drive any longer (yes, I drove once upon a time - long ago, in a galaxy far far away - it was called Kansas, and it was back in the 20th Century). I like trains. And I need trees.

**

Books

To get out of the reading slump - I've embraced one of my go-to genres, Fantasy. And am exploring all the new fantasy novels out there. I have two favorite go-to genres - Fantasy and Science Fiction. (Then mystery and romance, and horror, and sigh, regular realistic fiction which more often than not tends to bore me? I need more plot and world-building than actually exists in realistic fiction.)

I finished Illona Andrews "The Kinsmen Universe" novellas, Silver Shark and Silver Streak (I think), and stopped short of the soft core porn short story (Illona Andrews isn't that good at sex scenes, and I tend to roll my eyes?). It was good. Not enough plot. But fast reads.

Now? I'm reading Gideon, the Ninth on my Kindle - it's a book about lesbian necromancers in Space. Gideon is attempting to escape a necromancer strong-hold. We'll see. I'm heterosexual - so lesbian stories sometimes work for me, and sometimes don't. It depends on the characters. Actually that's true of heterosexual stories too, so never mind. It came highly rec'd - mainly for the banter and laugh out loud sections, also emotional core. From various social media sources - people here, and random strangers on "Book Instagram" (I finally found "Book Instagram" - which is kind of like Book TikTok but far less annoying, and not quite as obnoxious with the marketing and pimping - not that I'm on TikTock - TikTock irritates me - and that's just from the posts folks throw at me from it on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. It reminds me of the worst of Twitter - but with videos.)

Also making my way through This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me by Illona Andrews - in hard cover (so I can only read it at home - although, I am debating lugging it to doctor's appointments). This book is a portal fantasy - except into a "GrimDark Fantasy World" (a la Game of Thrones without GRR Martin's abilities - so think a very watered down version of Game of Thrones?). Portal Fantasy is not my favorite fantasy sub-genre?
It's hard to do pull off well - and Illona Andrews doesn't manage it. So far there are far too many information dumps, and way too much telling and not enough showing. Every time a character shows up - we get a couple of paragraphs, sometimes pages of character backstory, summarized by the protagonist based on her memory of the book's world. It's kind of like having a commentator with you as you read? CS Lewis didn't a better job with the portal fantasy in the Chronicles of Narnia, as did the guy who wrote The Magicians, which became a series. Long Live Evil - was atrocious, I couldn't get through it.

Also the world, which is GrimDark, is much nicer to the protagonist than it should be. It's kind of a comforting, romantic take on Game of Thrones, while at the same time making fun of Game of Thrones...or the fact that GRR Martin can't finish the series because he wrote himself into a corner and got writer's block as a result. (We're never going to see Winds of Winter.)

***

Doctors...

I've finally figured out why people who see doctors are called patients. I'm surprised it took this long. It's kind of obvious when you think about it.

sanguinity

Intro/FAQ
Days 1-15

Note: I'll be away from email for the next two days, so check-in posts will go up a couple hours later than usual. If that proves inconveniently late for you, just go ahead and drop your check-in on the most recent post whenever is convenient for you. (Just make it clear what day you're checking in for!)

My check-in: ~~No writing yet! A little later this evening, I hope!~~ I wrote a long chatty email to my cousin. It counts if I say it counts!

Day 21:

sanguinity

Day 20:

badly_knitted,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

dswdiane,

goddess47,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

the_siobhan,

trobadora,

ysilme

Day 19:

badly_knitted,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

dswdiane,

goddess47,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

the_siobhan,

trobadora,

ysilme

( More days )

When you check in, please use the most recent post and say what day(s) you’re checking in for. Remember you can drop in or out at any time, and let me know if I missed anyone!

musesfool

I logged off yesterday around 4:30 and started the process of making whipped ganache, and as per usual, the amount of time it takes to get the temperature of the ganache down to 75°F is RIDICULOUS even when I put the bowl on the window sill with the window open (there is a screen) and a cold breeze coming in. I guess the one good part about how long it took was that I was able to make and eat dinner in the middle of it, so I didn't have to do the whole thing hungry. Then I loaded those dishes into the dishwasher and started separating eggs to make vanilla Swiss meringue buttercream. And got some yolk in with the whites so had to start over. And then cracked an egg and it was frozen, so unusable for my purposes.

I did eventually get 4 egg whites in a bowl with a cup of sugar and set it over the pot of simmering water so I could whisk it until it heated to 160°F because aside from my own fear of salmonella, the whole point here was to celebrate my pregnant co-worker so I absolutely needed to make sure everything was safe. It's always amazing to me how they double in size as you whisk and heat them and eventually they hit the temp, so I whipped them into stiff peaks (not by hand), which took about twice the amount of time it normally does (physics! always working against me!), but did eventually happen. All was well as I added in the butter, but then I added the vanilla bean paste (gotta have the specks!) and it curdled. So I had to reheat it to melting, chill it, and whip it while adding another 1/4 cup of butter, but it did eventually whip up beautifully. Both frostings piped like a dream, too, since they were not cold. Pics are here. And they were much appreciated by my co-workers! At the end of the day, when I went into the lunchroom to put the leftovers in the fridge, I found someone packing them up to take home. She was like, did you want them? And I was like, no, I was just going to put them in the fridge for tomorrow. I'm pretty sure she did not know I was the person who made them, but that's okay.

Work itself was fine - we spent most of our team meeting eating cupcakes while everyone else talked about their cats - but I was 3/4 of the way there this morning when I realized I'd left my ID badge in my old bag (I got a new bag for work recently, and used it for the first time today, and I think I like it. It is quite large but the strap is the perfect length for a large crossbody, imo), but thankfully they have guest ID cards so I was able to go about my day without interruption. I did make myself a note to remember my ID card next month when I go in. (well, unless there is a LIRR strike, but there probably won't be.)

***

Today's poem:

The Thing Is

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you down like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

—Ellen Bass, from Mules of Love, 2002.

***

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: switching btwn the Mets and the hockey

svgurl

My card for the

whatif_au bingo challenge.

Fake Relationship	The Staff	Medical	Decade Specific	Radio/Podcast
Politics	Food Service	Magic	Workplace	Dystopia
Fairy Tale	Air Travel	WILD CARD	Soulmates/Soulmates: Pet Edition	Tourism
Royalty	Ocean	Sentinel/Guide	Music	Reversals
Time Travel	Sports	Characters as Celebrities	No-one Dies	Superhero

shadowkat

1. My workplace's browser (MSN) shot an article at me today on the renewed, cancelled and still waiting television series. I'll see if I can find it?

Well I found it HERE on Scary Mommy (sigh don't ask) (does it by network and streaming channel) and via Rotten Tomatoes (does it alphabetically),
and Tv Line and Metacritic (which is more up to date than Scary Mommy, not surprising in the least).

Interesting, albeit not surprising, sidebar? Paramount is cancelling all the Star Trek in favor of all of the Taylor Sheridan modern (also uber violent) Westerns. (I'm feeling validated for cancelling Paramount and boycotting CBS. Honestly, people were willing to unsubscribe to Disney for Jimmy Kimmel, but not unsubscribe from Paramount for Star Trek and cancelling Colbert? People? Really?)

Gone are the days, I can just list them. There's too many. It would take me hours.

2. Listened to a podcast - with Juliet Landau interviewing David Greenwalt.
Landau is great at interviewing folks. She barely talks and just lets them talk, with various targeted questions that spur them to say more about the business, and she, for the most part, avoids problematic topics.

Take away? Greenwalt's reward for doing Buffy was supposed to be - joining the writing and producing team for the X-Files. But Greenwalt states that he couldn't write for the X-Files. He just couldn't write that type of television series. When Landau asked why, he said that he needed an emotional arc or an emotional core - that his writing was more character based and emotion based. He said that while the X-Files is brilliantly written - it has no emotional core. It's just not there, and he couldn't write for it because of that. The network apparently wanted Mulder and Scully to kiss in the first episode, and the writers fought against it and won. Which was the right decision - it wouldn't have worked at all.

X-Files is plot based, not character based. You literally could put anyone in it and it would for the most part work - a skeptic and a true believer.
That's actually a hard format to pull off well. Emotion based is easier.
Plot based can get redundant and old fast. X-Files had good writers: Tim Minear came from the X-Files as did Vince Gillian.

I didn't like the X-Files that much - for two reasons? 1) I don't really like hyper-realistic horror. I like my horror unrealistic. Also alien invasion/government conspiracy stories irritate me - it's most likely a side effect of being forced to watch a lot of 1950s, 1960s and 1970s sci-fi alien invasion/government conspiracy series/ and B movies as a child. My best friend at the time loved that shit. 2) It's a by the books, plot procedural with no emotional base - and I'm a bit like Greenwalt, I need the emotional arc. I get bored or my attention starts to wander if I don't have that. I'm more character than plot oriented, most people tend to be one or the other? Some are both. I preferred Fringe? It was less hyper-realistic scary, and had more of an emotional core.

3. Listened to Nerd Subculture - which is an Australian Podcast Series on well, American television series? It's not very good. FB kept throwing snatches of it at me. So I gave it a try. They lost me in their analysis of Beneath You. (It's a couple, one has seen the series, one hasn't.)
( Read more... )

sanguinity

Intro/FAQ
Days 1-15

My check-in: Received the first round of beta notes on a story (not the longfic), and accepted a number of minor edits. Beta and I will get together and talk about possible bigger revisions later tonight.

Day 20:

china_shop,

sanguinity,

ysilme

Day 19:

badly_knitted,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

dswdiane,

goddess47,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

the_siobhan,